In defense of Diane Nguyen: from one disillusioned writer to another
It’s been 5 years since BoJack Horseman ended, and I’m still not over it.
As much as I believe the series reached its natural conclusion, and I’m happy that it didn’t get dragged out just for the sake of it, I miss being able to see a new season, a new episode. The characters have left a deep imprint on me, and the show itself has helped me navigate some of the toughest times of my life. It has been a companion of sorts.
And no character has been quite as much a companion to me as cynical, naggy, disillusioned Diane. From the beginning of the series, Diane stood out to me. I felt an instant connection to her. Maybe it is my tendency to feel an instant connection to all struggling writers, in a highly romanticized way. By struggling, I here refer to the writer’s proneness to a certain melancholy or disillusionment with whatever comes one’s way. I think we can all agree Diane is far from struggling financially when she is introduced to us, as her boyfriend Mr. Peanutbutter and her live a comfortable life. The struggle is rather a darkness in her that I recognize in myself.
Color me surprised when, upon stumbling across some sub-Reddits and other commentary surrounding the show, I see that Diane is widely disliked; regarded as one of the worst characters.
I recognize in Diane one of my biggest flaws: setting extremely high expectations on both myself and the people around me, and being disappointed when these expectations, time and time again, remain unmet. And yes, I’ll be the first person to admit that Diane is annoying. She preaches a morality and social justice that she herself seldom manages to reach. She is a bit of a buzzkill. She wants to do something meaningful, write about something that matters – and when finally given the chance by Sebastian St. Claire – she can’t hack it. The reality of living as a journalist in a warzone and doing ‘actually meaningful’ work does not match the idealized version of it she’s created in her head.
Her inability to actually manage hard work sends her spiraling, deep into a desperation that the only thing she is good for is writing the fodder-pieces; about beauty, about pop culture, about the most clickable thing on the internet that day.
Like Diane, I have a deep need to do something important. To feel as though I am contributing to the world in a meaningful way. To feel like my writing has a purpose. And I am barely writing. I tell myself I want to, and that I need to make time for it, yet, somehow, it often falls behind other priorities.
And when my writing doesn’t live up to whatever standard I have decided upon in my head is good enough, I lose my composure.
Like Diane, I want to achieve something great. But another part of me is certain that no matter what I would achieve, there would be a sense of disillusionment surrounding it. Rather than feeling overwhelming joy, I would feel empty. Rather than revelling in my success, I would feel like I lost my purpose. I had a goal I was working toward, and that goal is no more. Once you’ve finally completed that big hurdle, what’s next? I now need to accomplish something even greater.
Despite her annoyances, I find Diance to be extremely sympathetic. She captures the disillusioned writer extremely well, and while some of her intersectional feminist takes leave the rest of the characters rolling their eyes, I think she is one of the funniest characters on the show, even if unintentionally so.
When I am in need of a friend, ‘The Dog Days Are Over’ and ‘Live Fast, Diane Nguyen’ are two of my go-to comfort episodes of BoJack Horseman.
So, Diane, from one disillusioned wannabe writer to another, ICU.
Thank you for taking one for all of us slightly annoying girls.